. I wanna call it despair? I mean it'a not that bad, but i can't really think of anything else to call it so let's just call it despair. That creeping feeling of despair come over me again.I have been doing this for years now, get home, eat some shitty dinner, watch some shitty shows, go to sleep, wake up and jerk off, eat a shitty breakfeast, repeat. And then soon enough i would get a apartment, met a slightly above average girl, marry her, pump out two to three brats, buy a house, and then die.And i didn't want to do that, i want my life to be fun, and special, not just boring, and normal. But whatever, it doesn't matter i shouldn't even be down in the dumps about this. There are people that are fighting tooth and nail just to get by, and here i am bitching about my life not being special enough. I go upstairs to go to sleep, it was a bit early for that but it doesn't matter. I just want to get this day over with.I close my eyes, and get ready for sleep. But sadly something was. .. Especially from a strong, handsome young man!" But- but mum and dad-" I stutter."We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Grandma says. "I don't need tobe a therapist to see that over the last two days, you've been happier thanI've ever known you, and I don't need a fancy doctorate to know why. Whenyou're ready, WE will talk to your mum and dad and explain to them all abouttheir SON. In the meantime, we'll get you booked in with a counsellor herein Cardiff, we'll get you a job, or enrolled on a course at college, we'llmake sure that Ian has everything HE needs to live a full, independent life,so that when he finally meets his mum and dad, there'll be nothing they cando about it other than accept him as their son." O-okay," I say, shocked by the generosity and love being shown to me. "I- Idon't think I'll ever be able to thank you, Grandma." You know my one condition," Grandma says. "The one thing you can do tothank me is to make your life happy and successful. And if I ever see.
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